Vulnerability

We often think of vulnerability as a weakness, but I have come to see it as a strength. Vulnerability is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. I remember visiting Rome and taking a tour through the Coliseum. We learned that gladiators–usually prisoners of war, slaves or criminals–were kept locked in cells in an underground passageway and would be led up a stairway to a trap door that would snap open and leave them stranded on the ground floor in the colosseum to face their opponent and possible death. Talk about vulnerability as weakness, but maybe many of these people were strong and brave.

It was hot in Rome and my friend and I were thirsty and hearing about this was not to our liking. We felt insecure. He kept going on, so we opted for a break, lunch and then a visit to the Vatican. The Vatican was much more to our liking — beautiful– and we even got a chance to see Pope Francis. He was walking without an escort and popped into a healing service. The frantic security guards were racing across the floor of St Peter’s to catch up with him. He showed vulnerability with confidence.

Brene Brown uses the Coliseum as a metaphor for describing the creative process. First the actor does her preparation off stage in private, but the time will come when she must step onto the stage and act. But this is where courage comes in and resilience takes hold. Hang onto to your artistic dreams and your confidence. Look out into the audience and act without fear and without a net.

All of these thoughts have surfaced during my health scares these past few months. As I find new good doctors they give me insights into both my vulnerability as weakness and vulnerability as strength. A lot of it is out of my control. The mechanism of the stroke is unknown. One finds that good diet is great and exercise helps, but that will not solve all the problems. You have to dig into your family history and find what is hiding there.

When you get a choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. (from a song)

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