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Entrust your pain to the community
Two months ago, I read this essay called: “Two Lessons learned from this Ancient Piece that Changed My Life” written by Sharon Brous who is a Rabbi. This is an excerpt from The New York Times. “A somewhat obscure text called the Mishnah, which is a very old Jewish legal document has been my unlikely teacher and guide for the past many years, and my north star. “When your heart is broken, when the specter of death visits your family, when you feel lost and alone and inclined to retreat, you show up. Entrust your pain to the community. For example, when you walk you encounter those who are in…
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Life changes in the instant.
Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The question of self-pity. by Joan Didion, “The Year of Magical Thinking.” I am still asking myself– even after almost a year since Sally died–why we never talk about death until it is in front of us. I think some of the truth lies in Joan’s short phrase–uncertainty, fear and perhaps not wanting self-pity. We have no idea when our time is and we are afraid to talk to others about what it looks like when we experience it closely. You can sit with a dying friend the whole day…
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I shall not cease from exploration
7 years ago I began this blog. I first started writing pieces while living in Brooklyn. I worked with a web designer who taught me how to put everything together. During this time, Gregory, my son, moved to his own apartment in Brooklyn. Soon both Sally and I retired. She moved to Cincinnati. I moved to Asbury Park. It was both exciting and sad. But once Sally and I moved, we talked everyday. It was our way of keeping the connection and the friendship. My intention for writing was to find a story with emotional resonance for me and write about it. Then I would marry this short piece with…
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An Olive Tree grows in New Jersey
Have you ever watched something die and then come back to life again? It does often happen in nature when we see. My niece gave me a small, beautiful, olive tree as a gift and it flourished for a while. At some point the moisture and gloomy weather of New Jersey was too much. It died. I never thought it would grow again. After living outside in its beautiful olive pot, I was ready to plant a perennial in the pot. I looked closer. There in the center of the pot between two large round-shaped stones was a small olive bud. It has been outside in the cold and wet…
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A Season for Everything…
Thinking back to last winter, I remember chasing two great blue herons everyday. They waded in the water, and skated on thin ice. Each day I was happy to go outside at the warmest part of the day to discover what new trick they had created. This year is different. There is only one heron and when I do get out between the cold and the rain, I can’t find him. What has changed? If we begin to follow birds and animals carefully, we will see that they have a vital life of their own. They are not the same every day. Jane Goodall said this and she has lived…
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“Hope is the thing with feathers”
“Hope” is the thing with feathers – That perches in the soul – And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all – And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard – And sore must be the storm – That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm – I’ve heard it in the chillest land – And on the strangest Sea – Yet – never – in Extremity, It asked a crumb – of me. Emily DIckinson How can we find hope amid uncertainty, conflict, or loss? Hope develops and cultivates in the same manner as faith. It is a state…
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Sally, forever friends
Sally Hamilton, May 4, 1944 – June 26, 2022 Standing erect, Sally always moved confidently through life. She was educated and successful, and generous to others. Each person received the benefit of her kindness. She was fiercely independent, walking by herself for the first day of school while her mother followed secretly behind. We travelled together on some beautiful trips. A few notable differences arose in our lifestyles. I woke early and she slept late. The best trip was a seven-day “forced march,” as we called it, to Rome, Tuscany, Florence, and Venice. We had guides meeting us every morning after breakfast to take us to the Coliseum, the Vatican,…
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Modifying our Lives
Change continues to be our sibling as we navigate work, retirement, health and modifying our lives. Since the pandemic our work force has become used to working remotely. As a working mother I remember how difficult it was to commute sometimes 4 hours a day to New York City and back to New Jersey. I would have loved to embrace working remotely even if only a hybrid version. As many workers find themselves in bedrooms and living rooms carving out work space, we must remember that remote need not mean “distant” or having “little relationship.” Create a good space, turn your video on, change your dress from pandemic to casual…
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Winter’s Gone
Winter may not be your favorite season, but finding a way to enter into it makes it a lot better. Kids love winter. They find ways to play in the snow. Aubrey (the female heron) and her male friend have kept me busy this winter following them as they sat out migration to stay here and live in cold rain, ice and snow. They challenged me to find answers to why they can live with their feet in the cold water of a lake and why they spend so much time fishing. As for the legs–it turns out they have a separate circulation system in their legs which moves independently…
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The Exodus
What country would you like to go to? Austria, Germany, Italy? These are the words spoken to the Ukrainian people as they depart their buses and trains. They are in Poland. Poland and Romania already have close to a million refugees. “Vienna” says the beautiful woman with two children. The son looks to be 14 or more and is sweet talking about how much he misses his father. “I love my father” he says. The smaller girl around 5 whose name is Zalotta smiles and jumps up and down. She is a young free spirit and seems to like change. All of the mothers say they are fleeing Ukraine to…
