Solitary

I am learning each day that I walk alone and I am getting more used to it. But I also know that there is a deep part of me that yearns for companionship. In the midst of the pandemic, I found myself longing to meet a fellow traveler. It seemed an odd time to have that wish, but this is when the longing surfaced. A solitary person I am not. People captivate me and I enjoy the company of all kinds.

When I am outside, I enjoy nature and animals that inhabit the area of Asbury Park. The Great Blue Heron always draws my attention. And she is always alone. She is a solitary creature and I do love her. She walks, and flies and is often seen fishing for food on the water’s edge or in shallow lakes and ponds. Occasionally one will see a Blue Heron and an Egret close by each other, but it only looks as though this has just happened and there are no conversations going on. Each moves in her own circle.

My two best friends Elle and Sally have also moved out of New York City and while I talk to each a lot it is not the same as spending meals and walks together. We each have our own lives and like the Blue Heron fish for our meals in different parts of the pond. It is how we live.

The realization is that I am more likely to meet someone when I am not really looking. I am not desperate, only in touch with my feelings. This past year has been a long year of seeing doctors and I have learned that I am mostly fine. I have found on line Morning Prayer & Evening Prayer and I am singing again. There is also biking, writing and time spent with friends. And perhaps a sighting now and then of my dear son in Brooklyn who is burrowed away working. And I have learned that I have enough.