Post MidLife

I often find myself  in the midst of discussions about work, relationships, moving, change, and midlife. I have to stop for a second. Are we really still in midlife or did we pass through it while working? Are we now post-midlife?  NPR had an essay on surviving midlife. It was called: “8 Ways You Can Survive – and Thrive In – Midlife.”  It was written by Barbara Bradley Hagerty, a former NPR writer and author of Life Reimagined.*  I got some clues from this superb essay and podcast.

1.) Be a a rookie at something. Why?  Try new things  and if you fail that’s okay. You can be a “rookie” at birding, cooking, painting or drawing and numerous other things. It will give your life a fresh perspective.

2.) Aim for long-term goals over short term happiness. This might include family, health, singing, writing or reflection. Listen to these words from T.S. Eliot’s “Four Quartets:”

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

3.) Lean into fear and not boredom. During the early years of our lives we were taught many things,  but after that it is up  to us to keep learning.  As Barbara quotes in her essay: “Ask yourself regularly: how will I use these glorious days left to me for the best purpose?”  One must be patient. A friend told me that it will take time. She said, “it might take as much as a year to adjust in your new home.” (A year, I thought — ugh — a year!)

4.) A few setbacks are part of the process.  If you don’t fail some, then you’re trying to be too perfect. I have a friend in Cincinnati who leans into life and is unafraid of making mistakes.  She moves quickly between crossword puzzles, translating novels and living life on a variety of levels. While multitasking recently she brewed her coffee, but forgot to put the glass pot under the spout. The water quietly ran down the kitchen counter and onto the floor. There will be spills.

It is Saturday night in Asbury Park and there is a film/music festival and I am listening to Colin Hay, lead singer for Men at Work. He was born in Scotland and grew up in Australia. After selling millions of albums with Men at Work, he found himself having to start all over on his own. This song says it  all for Colin’s life  and for many of us in “post midlife.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvrzqcfv9mY

*March 17, 20164:29 PM ET

Heard on All Things Considered