If You Love Me Keep My Commandments

The Botanic Garden,  Brooklyn

Grief is not the absence of faith, but the price of love. This past year I found myself mourning not only the death of my father, but also my mother. Yes, they had lived long and good lives, but that was specifically why I was mourning them. I had known them so long, and it was unfamiliar for me not to hear their voices and to share visits with them. My father was my compass and mentor in all things spiritual and my mother a guiding force in the world. It went on for some time until I came upon the power of music to transform my soul. Music can move and transport us to new places. I continue to miss them, but the power of this sadness over my spirit gradually changed.

I enjoy a lot of different kinds of music, but the music I turned to was very particular. It was the early polyphonic music of Thomas Tallis, William Byrd, and Palestrina. This was the music I listened to over and over again in the listening library during my freshman year in college. One particular choral piece that I played repetitively was Thomas Tallis’ “If You Love Me Keep My Commandments.” The music has given me great peace in the midst of my struggle and now as I live into a new joy. I thought it was my memory of having heard it before and loving it, but listening to both the music and the words I know it was a special gift of synchronicity. My mourning and inability to move beyond the pain was met by the melody of Tallis’ choral work and the words of John 14. I could have read these words, but hearing the words sung was exactly what I needed to hear at just the right moment.

The text is from John 14:15-17:

If ye love me,
keep my commandments,
and I will pray the Father,
and he shall give you another comforter,
that he may bide with you forever,
e’en the spirit of truth.

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Here there is the continuity of love through the commandments and the promise of the comforter and abiding love forever. I have learned since thinking about this music that it is often sung on the 6th Sunday of Easter. Why is that?  Perhaps we are to remember the Easter “Alleluias” even as we celebrate Pentecost and enter into ordinary time. Here as we bid adieu to Easter for another year we move into a new time of creation. I believe it also has to do with the lessons which are read at this time and their message of comfort and reassurance. As we take off the clothes of mourning we are beckoned into this “in between time” in the spirit of truth. My prayer for all us who find ourselves in this place of mourning is that we may not deny these thoughts and feelings, but rather know that on this journey there is love and comfort and above all hope through song.