My Dear Little Bea

Little Bea

In early August of 2014, I returned to New York from cleaning out my mother and father’s house. We were getting ready to sell it. It was a difficult time, but it was also a time of finding “lost” memories and articles of clothing and jewelry that reminded me of their presence and of their physical lives. I found two rings – one of my father’s with gold and a red ruby in it and one of my mother’s with a pale green jade stone. When I wear them, I wear them carefully as I do not want to lose them. In photographs of my father I can see this ring on his finger and I am reminded that it was his. My mother’s ring is green and in it I see her beautiful green eyes reflected.

When I returned from my 3-4 days of sorting and giving I was running in my local park–in Fort Greene. My eyes had gotten better at seeing the small things in life and there behind a chain fence, behind a hospital was a beautiful mother cat and her family of kittens. The mother was carefully cleaning and feeding her kittens. Loving all animals, I immediately went home to buy some food and to begin to supplement her food with more, so that all of them would thrive and live through a very hot August.  I brought them bowls of fresh water and wet food and dry food. Thus began a personal journey and love affair with these kittens and their mother who is named Paws. The kittens were: Jackson, Martin, Spencer, and Little Bea. We learned later that Jackson should have been Jackie.

When my parents died so closely together I was lost, especially because my mother had functioned so beautifully as the center of our home. She orchestrated the gatherings; she managed and cared for the household; and she loved and cared for my dear father. There will never be a substitute for my parents, but the my outpouring of love for these animals and my focus of attention to detail and care is somehow mysteriously related to them. Here I could be the center of this little family’s well-being. They needed me and I would gently take them under my wings. They are somewhat wild, but I was determined to give them as much love and care as I could and do this in the spirit of my gratitude.

I needed them. I worked every day in the midst of 100 degree temperatures and throughout one of the coldest winters in history to care and love this family. Two of the boys were brought inside in September and though I struggled to find them a secure home I believe, I have finally found them a nurturing home with my dear friend Elle. Bea and Jackson came through the winter with grit and determination and are enjoying summer. I worked at caring for them and thinking of ways for them to give them a better life.

In folklore the cat is am image of wholeness. It is said that a “cat, a creature which combines a high degree of sensuality with a deeply and spiritual nature, teaches us that the physical and spiritual worlds are not separate, but one.” On Thanksgiving Day when I showed up to feed Little Bea and Jackson. They ran to me and were happy to see me. I know them and they know my voice.  One day a guy who was walking in the Park with his two dogs asked me if I fed and cared for the cats? I said yes. He said: “let me give you some money to care for them?” He gave me $7.00. Why $7.00? It could have been $2.00 or $3.00.

Seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It is tied directly to God’s creation of life. In caring for the cats I was aligning myself with the caring and nurturing of of new life. I was both grieving and moving on in my life by continuing to love creation.