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My History
On Sunday I was in a small group after church speaking about our histories and some of the legacies we might find if we dare look. We were looking not only at our parents, but also at our grandparents and deep into our history. What does that look like? What can we imagine from what we know of the present and the past? I thought about my mother and her deep roots of Protestantism. As I became more Anglo-Catholic, she challenged me on many issues, but the one she disliked the most was “Intercession through the Saints.” Once we were in a small Episcopal church in Washington and she had…
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In Fog
I did three loads of laundry today. As I folded the duvet cover, I did not put it back on the pristine white duvet. Why? I am living for now. It is only a duvet. I am no longer protecting the future, but rather living in the present. I remember how my mother only took out her good china teacups on special occasions. I used to tease her about this, but later I would understand. She was a child of the Depression and of scarcity. I have known no scarcity. I have never known scarcity. But I do know what living in fog is like. I do not know if…
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Birth, death and rebirth
On January 2, 2021, while talking with my brother and enjoying my coffee and breakfast, I felt a sensation up the left side of my body. My arm and then my leg started making spastic motions. There was no pain, but I had no control of the left side of my body. I tried to walk, but I could only crawl. Some motion in my left eye was evident and my speech was somewhat slurred. Immediately the word “stroke” came to my mind and it gripped me with terror. I rang my doctor and she believed that I had had a stroke. The use of my arm and leg gradually…
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Out of the earth comes life
Christmas is coming and mine is going to be very simple. I did take it upon myself to grow two Amaryllises. I hope they will have full double red blossoms. They arrived from White Flower Farm in beautiful linen bags. The potting instructions say: “Place a well-drained potting mix in a tub. Slowly add warm water and stir with your hand until the mix is moist and not soggy.” That line made me think. Soggy would make the mix set up like cement, but moist would make the potting soil a muck where life can grow. When will there be growth? Patience is necessary. It will need more time in…
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No Expectations
This year I am approaching Advent and Christmas with “no expectations.” I am grateful to be here, to have enough food and a warm place to live. My mother always loved Christmas. We would gather at Thanksgiving–eat a wonderful meal prepared by her and then take walks around the pond and land. The next day my younger sister and I would drive the grandchildren to Pittsburgh. First stop was the Andy Warhol Museum. Kids love Andy Warhol–brightly colored paintings, lithographs and Mylar balloons to bat around. Next we visited the Christmas fair on Forbes Avenue. In my spending days “full of expectations,” I bought many ornaments and they remain some…
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Hibernate in Body and Mind
Many of my friends who are retiring, talk of moving west or south to be warmer in winter. What about hibernation in winter? Would hibernation help people get through long winters or would it make it worse? Hibernation works very well for certain animals – bears, squirrels, bats and other mammals. I can see a very large and comfy squirrel nest in my pine tree. Animals hibernate in the winter to conserve energy and because there isn’t enough food readily available. Frogs hibernate in the water they live in. They have a fluid in their bodies that acts like antifreeze. Ice crystals form in such places as the body cavity…
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Solitary Blue Herons
Every evening at dusk, I ride my bike in Asbury by a lake that has two solitary Blue Herons. Usually, they are on the same side of the lake and often they are standing quietly in the water. Blue Herons nest and do have families, but after that they spend most of their time alone. They are carnivores, eating fish and turtles and other creatures. It is easier to catch food when you are alone. There are also two white Egrets by themselves, socially distanced from the Blue Herons. I can identify with both the Blue Heron and the Egret in their solitariness. For me there is no prey, but…
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To Find a Voice
The World Food Program was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for its response to the surge in global hunger across the world brought on by the coronavirus pandemic. David Beasley, the program’s executive director was found in the field — Niger– elated to turn the spotlight on the millions who struggle to have enough to eat. Niger is a landlocked country and prone to draught and famines. The people around him were clapping and dancing with joy. Oh turn your swords into “ploughshares.” The American poet Louise Gluck (pronounced Glick) won the Nobel Prize for Literature. I do not know her poetry well, but bookstores will soon be replenished of…
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Job and Our Suffering
Last week at a small Bible study group of four women, we chose the Book of Job to study for the next few weeks. When I began to read it I wondered why I was so interested in studying a book full of relentless suffering. It was difficult just to read the first few chapters. Take a look at the above engraving by William Blake. This is how Job begins — prosperous — a big family, great riches and lots of animals. Shortly after we began the book, there was an OP-ED on Saturday, September 26th in the NY Times. The title was ” How Can We Bear This Much…
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Things to be sure about —
Throughout this time of isolation, I have had my fair share of Netflix and Amazon Prime shows watched. Now I have stopped the binging and am reading more about nature, fiction, and keeping active biking, volunteering with animals and singing. It is evident from the shows I indulged in that no matter how imperfect families can be, the “hold” which is the love that a family has can be strong in the midst of change. My extended family stretches from PA, to NJ, upstate NY, and WA. state, but it is knit not only by DNA, but also common traits and interests. It is also bound by the beliefs and…
